Skip to main content

Another year

Its here again, another birthday. I never thought I would be this old this soon! But oh well!!

It feels quite empty from inside when you think that you are now 23 and you are yet to do something worthwhile in your life. When you feel that there is something yet to come that it will ignite hidden passion in you, give a purpose to your life. So far you have only focussed on searching for it, and in the meanwhile being prepared when it hits you. You have toiled (supposedly) sometimes to be the best prepared amongst them. All for what? You still don't really know.

My mother always used to tell me, when I acted lazy, that Akbar took the command of his empire at the age of 13, what have you done? Now being 10 years older than Akbar's age of coronation, I still don't know where to take the command. I am still unsure on whether I would be able to handle the kingdom well. I still believe it is out there, waiting for its emperor to come and rule.

My experiences so far have told me that there will be no such kingdom where people will invite you to rule them. Akbar may have been lucky to have been born at a time of struggle for the mughal empire and he had a clear objective as to what his life would be about. Mine on the other hand has so far been only spent in deciding which rat to follow in the race. The only sense of achievement I get is when I see some other rats fall behind and struggle a bit more.

I want something to define me, I want a motive towards living, I want to know what should be my role in the bigger scheme of things. I want to do something which makes a difference to the world, and enjoy it while doing it. Maybe I am asking for too much, maybe I am able to afford to have the luxury to pay heed to such thoughts because I am not busy enough, or I am not thankful enough, or too confused, or making an issue about nothing. I do not know which one of these is the reason for these thoughts, but I am surely not very happy with them.

Comments

RP said…
This is good.
Unknown said…
very impressive n true :-)
Aman said…
nice work.. i like the simple and honest flow of words.. keep giving us more posts to read! :D
Nilanjana said…
23 and kicking... :)
Interesting read.
Here's hoping that u soon find ur dream job.. and now taht ur search has already begun, u ll eventually find ur purpose in life real soon!!!
rammalla said…
Every single person you considered rat and as rat is just meant for feeding and breeding that is its purpose .Every human need to be fully aware what the nature is doing with all those creature with silent and peaceful obsorver. We human are so great that we have such sense that can be hurt by the pain of other people too! Other life leading work are just for normal life purpose!.....

Popular posts from this blog

China Chronicles

My nervousness over the complete lack of preparation before landing in China was given some relief when I met Sanket, my roommate in Ann Arbor and in Shanghai, on the plane. We were lucky enough to have met some current students from CEIBS who were also coming back from India and were kind enough to make sure we reached the campus safely. From there on out, it was a completely awesome experiences where I learnt about China, its people, its economy and most of all, had fun just being there. Here I am trying to capture some key fun facts I learnt on my way: 1. Everyone in China uses WeChat! Me and Sanket, unlike most exchange students at CEIBS had decided to stay on the campus to make the logistics easier and to reflect our complete lack of preparation. It was not that we had not tried to find accommodation in Puxi (the more happening part of the city) but just that sitting in Michigan it was very hard for us to trust something which we could not understand in Chinese. Reaching la...

Kleptomania

Take a moment to think about the best period in your life so far. I am not talking about moments, but a period of life which you feel, you were generally happy. My guess is, that barring childhood of course, it would have been a period where you were most busy. Busy doing work maybe, busy organizing things, busy managing people in your life, or anything else for that matter. But it would never be the period when you have had nothing to do. And believe me I am not saying that you were happy because you were so busy, all I am saying is that you were happy because maybe, just maybe, you could steal time. Steal time to do things you could not manage to do while you were busy. Something you wanted to do but never could afford to because of the time constraints and leading you to steal time from whatever that was keeping you busy and being happy for a while. Atleast I remember my best times in life, have not been when I had nothing to do. They in fact have been the worst to be honest. I thin...

To be or not to be

I have always wondered about myself, if engineering was the right path for me or would I have been happier and more satisfied being a DU student. There are several reasons why this question surfaces again and again, and for no good reason rattles me by painting a very different "what-if" kind of picture. One of the first reason is my current job and the people I meet in my company. If there is anything I like about my present organisation is that it is so diverse and full of so many kinds of people, that one ends up getting exposed to new perspectives on a continuous basis. In my student life, my perspectives however rich or 'bright' were more or less similar from what I would get from the very next person on the campus. In my office however, there is such multiplicity of opinion, such range of thought and thought processes, such diversity in analyzing a problem, that one truly ponders as to which side I belong to. If it is to be believed that all wisdom is nothi...